What a few days! or maybe it's actually been weeks. Just the last few days seem to have 'peaked'
Although a few friends have mentioned the same 'phew' ....
perhaps there's some celestial happening that's impacting us - or it's just one of those days/weeks.
One challenge after another... it's been quiet for a time. I thought I was finally getting on top of things. But I am frazzled today. I wonder often what is it that is going on!
Is it some astrological thing, can numerology explain this, is it biorhythms...
what is it that some days the glue that holds things together just dissolves.... and it feels like you are forever picking up pieces.
I usually forget all the things I know I should do, could do... to make the day easier. Stress levels climb, blood pressure rises, the desire for 'wine o'clock' to appear long before it's due.
You collapse into a chair and are almost speechless.
Mind has turned to mush.
Time to breathe. Deeply and with purpose. Everything is in divine timing and all is well.
Soothing words, when you remember to apply them. HA!
From what I can see of the past few days - I've given my power away - been led down paths that are of purpose for others; allowed myself to be verbally bullied by one who used the word 'friend'
(footnote to self... when one gets the feeling that something is not quite right... LISTEN and maintain perspective)
and in the process got my nickers in a knot and flustered and all I could do then was collapse into mush.
The real question is - why do I allow this. It seems quite clear in retrospect.
I really need to spot this before I get too far down into the deep well of frustration - and not when I've collapsed into a heap.
Now that I've taken stock, I can see I survived another day, not as well as I'd liked - but a good night's sleep should give me back some credit in the resourceful and resilient department.
So where did I go wrong?
I allowed one person's behaviour to de-rail me. I was shocked by their behaviour and approach, felt a little betrayed. And I dwelled on it too much. Should have just gone - "Their problem - move on". But shock can keep you stuck for longer than you'd like. Guess it was a new lesson about human behaviour.
I allowed other people's issue and their momentum in their own drama to draw me into their drama. Need to realize this and keep directing my thoughts and energy towards my centre and not allow myself to get caught up in their current. It's their issue and I can't help them if I am getting pulled into their flow. Empathy required, but not my job to solve others' problems.
And, as a result of my frazzled state, I didn't take enough care with details. Didn't pay enough attention and depended on what used to be my impeccable eye for detail. While in this frazzled state, I then went and created another problem. I messed up and gave someone the wrong information which meant they were then in a bit of a pickle. I felt pretty bad at what had transpired.
What a downward spiral. All because I dwelled on someone else's behaviour when I should have just let it go.
I imagine that is a much easier task for some. I have never been very good at it, although getting better. It's been the subject of many hours of introspection, therapy, shamanic healings and Amazonian and Peruvian adventures.
The underlying essence is most often about the feeling of worthiness or deserving. The very act of birth disconnects us in most part from our divinity and we start a journey where we have to find and remind ourselves of who we really are. That spark of GOD or creation or divinity.
We spend the rest of our lives - some more than others - rediscovering what 'became hidden' that day of birth.
It can be pretty hard to not care about what someone thinks, to stand up for yourself when someone attacks you, to dismiss their behaviour when you can see it is more about them than what it says about you.....
The essence of that is that you need to believe in you; believe that you are worthy; believe that you are deserving to be here as much as anyone else and that you are as good as anyone else.
Most of us won't even know what we are really thinking underneath the frustration, or pain, or dismay, or confusion... but it's likely it's about deserving; worthiness; being allowed (very childlike word that one... but comes up a lot for me)
I know it took a long time for me to work that out.
Simple isn't it.
Easy? Perhaps not quite so.
Did I say divine timing....
I'd just closed this post and ding on my email sounded. I've got mail!
the email was about Venus being retrograde from July 25 - September 6th.
Here's a link regards Venus retrograde and what to expect
Specifically mentions Aug 31 (today's date)
Just about covers it....
did I also say - ask and you shall receive.
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