I realized a few days ago that Mercury was retrograde. It started its retrograde journey end of August.... reached it's peak (or station point) 17th September. We've had a number of Mercury retrogrades this year. First in Jan/Feb, then again May/June, now in Sept/Oct and once again in Dec.
I must have a think about the previous events and see if they had a similar effect on me then.
I can say without exaggeration, that this has been the toughest few weeks that I can remember. Actually Jan/Feb was tough now that I recall. I quit a 4 year stint in a job that was going nowhere, extremely toxic and left there feeling like I was unemployable - ever
I have recovered but the recovery took many months. I am feeling positive about work and people and most of all - myself. I feel worthy again. Competent.
But I digress... given my last post of 'family values' - I can see so much of the difficult scenarios that played out in the last few weeks could be attributed to Mercury retrograde.
I've not slept, I've eaten my way into getting bigger.. (thankfully now back to vaguely what I used to weigh), paced the floor with indecision and agitation, unable to navigate out of a paper bag actually... wasn't much fun at all.
But mysteriously; a few days ago - my spirits started to lift (After a melt down on Thursday 17th ) ... all the things that felt insurmountable a few days ago - well - they didn't seem so bad. Nothing else had changed... except now we were past the 17th Sept. I must say - I don't really know enough about this to be sure about anything - but it's been a tried and proven tradition of humanity to observe what goes on around us and in the skies.
My mum tells me about how they farmed the land when she was little - they knew when to plant and reap based on the moon cycles and associated weather patterns... (mental note- must document all the things Mum has told me over the years). Amazing stuff and all without the help of google.
This was information passed down to them from generations before. These are the things they learned from grandparents and taught their children and their children.
They monitored life, weather, crop yield and proliferation and learned what worked and what didn't and when. They were true observers of life. They lived in the moment - there was no other place to be. There was no TV, or Google or Facebook. For most part - they had little choice during and post WW2 as there was little in terms of money or food.. Life truly depended on how well their crops fared and their animals prospered.
I think we've forgotten how to observe ... so busy disconnecting ourselves from nature in the interest of working and paying bills and making a life. We've forgotten I think....... to dream and look at the stars and pay attention.
Mercury Retrograde Can be a Blessing The retrograde cycle tends to reveal what is not working properly, and although it can contribute to delays and frustrations, it can also reveal issues that are important to resolve, fix or address.
It is actually a very good time to deal with what has been put on the back burner, or to finish what had already been started much earlier.
It is a good time for reflective and creative writing, inner work, journaling, spiritual work and completing long overdue tasks.
I've been thinking about this blog idea for a number of years.... and how funny that I would embark on this journey during Mercury retrograde..
We think we are in control - newsflash.... we are to a degree, but we are also under the influence of a bigger force that interplays at a galaxy and planetary level, gravitational impact, magnetic grid impact.
Check out the changes in the Earth's axis over the last few years - proof that everything changes and ever evolves .... and this same force is the driver behind that essence that breathes life into a seed in the soil and controls oceans, solar flares and any other natural phenomenon we can think of. We are truly connected as one and part of such an amazing orchestration of life.
Blessing to you and your families
How synchronistic.. once again
Soon after my last post - I decided it was time to listen to a Kryon seminar I'd recorded.
Kryon's messages do vary but generally have a theme.
One particular them this year has been what Kryon sees as the way forward for many of us.
Compassion. Act and live in a compassionate way.
And I thought about the 'friend' who had been very confronting and verbally abusive.
I wasn't really being compassionate. Most people have a good reason why they are out of character or attack. I guess we are not unlike our animal friends.
The snake will only strike if you threaten it...... the bee will sting if you are too close or in it's way.
My initial reaction after the abusive words was to steer clear and strike them off my lists of contacts. But I am sure I had a role to play in the attack. Clearly there was something I'd said or done. Perhaps my enthusiasm for something had been perceived as condescending.. that would make sense given their response.
While I don't need to put myself within their range again - I can look at the incident with more compassionate eyes. Think a kind thought or send a kind word instead.
There's enough angst in the world without adding to it.
What a few days! or maybe it's actually been weeks. Just the last few days seem to have 'peaked'
Although a few friends have mentioned the same 'phew' ....
perhaps there's some celestial happening that's impacting us - or it's just one of those days/weeks.
One challenge after another... it's been quiet for a time. I thought I was finally getting on top of things. But I am frazzled today. I wonder often what is it that is going on!
Is it some astrological thing, can numerology explain this, is it biorhythms...
what is it that some days the glue that holds things together just dissolves.... and it feels like you are forever picking up pieces.
I usually forget all the things I know I should do, could do... to make the day easier. Stress levels climb, blood pressure rises, the desire for 'wine o'clock' to appear long before it's due.
You collapse into a chair and are almost speechless.
Mind has turned to mush.
Time to breathe. Deeply and with purpose. Everything is in divine timing and all is well.
Soothing words, when you remember to apply them. HA!
From what I can see of the past few days - I've given my power away - been led down paths that are of purpose for others; allowed myself to be verbally bullied by one who used the word 'friend'
(footnote to self... when one gets the feeling that something is not quite right... LISTEN and maintain perspective)
and in the process got my nickers in a knot and flustered and all I could do then was collapse into mush.
The real question is - why do I allow this. It seems quite clear in retrospect.
I really need to spot this before I get too far down into the deep well of frustration - and not when I've collapsed into a heap.
Now that I've taken stock, I can see I survived another day, not as well as I'd liked - but a good night's sleep should give me back some credit in the resourceful and resilient department.
So where did I go wrong?
I allowed one person's behaviour to de-rail me. I was shocked by their behaviour and approach, felt a little betrayed. And I dwelled on it too much. Should have just gone - "Their problem - move on". But shock can keep you stuck for longer than you'd like. Guess it was a new lesson about human behaviour.
I allowed other people's issue and their momentum in their own drama to draw me into their drama. Need to realize this and keep directing my thoughts and energy towards my centre and not allow myself to get caught up in their current. It's their issue and I can't help them if I am getting pulled into their flow. Empathy required, but not my job to solve others' problems.
And, as a result of my frazzled state, I didn't take enough care with details. Didn't pay enough attention and depended on what used to be my impeccable eye for detail. While in this frazzled state, I then went and created another problem. I messed up and gave someone the wrong information which meant they were then in a bit of a pickle. I felt pretty bad at what had transpired.
What a downward spiral. All because I dwelled on someone else's behaviour when I should have just let it go.
I imagine that is a much easier task for some. I have never been very good at it, although getting better. It's been the subject of many hours of introspection, therapy, shamanic healings and Amazonian and Peruvian adventures.
The underlying essence is most often about the feeling of worthiness or deserving. The very act of birth disconnects us in most part from our divinity and we start a journey where we have to find and remind ourselves of who we really are. That spark of GOD or creation or divinity.
We spend the rest of our lives - some more than others - rediscovering what 'became hidden' that day of birth.
It can be pretty hard to not care about what someone thinks, to stand up for yourself when someone attacks you, to dismiss their behaviour when you can see it is more about them than what it says about you.....
The essence of that is that you need to believe in you; believe that you are worthy; believe that you are deserving to be here as much as anyone else and that you are as good as anyone else.
Most of us won't even know what we are really thinking underneath the frustration, or pain, or dismay, or confusion... but it's likely it's about deserving; worthiness; being allowed (very childlike word that one... but comes up a lot for me)
I know it took a long time for me to work that out.
Simple isn't it.
Easy? Perhaps not quite so.
Did I say divine timing....
I'd just closed this post and ding on my email sounded. I've got mail!
the email was about Venus being retrograde from July 25 - September 6th.
Here's a link regards Venus retrograde and what to expect
Specifically mentions Aug 31 (today's date)
Just about covers it....
did I also say - ask and you shall receive.