I wrote this post back in 2016 - and discovered it a few days ago. I think it's time I return. 3 years have gone by - and goodness - haven't things changed. I'll save that for another post.
I've been watching the series - Bloodline
An American family based in the Florida Keys - Proud and strong family .... with a black sheep amongst them.
Danny, one of the 3 sons, returns home and the trouble begins.. or perhaps it began many years ago as children. Cut a long story short... he is divisive or deceitful; nasty; corrupt; cunning; but only because he's had the decks stacked against him for a long time I suspect. No one is born that way - life takes them places they may not normally go if left to their own means.
A lost and a tortured human being - as a result of lies told because the family wanted to keep up appearances and do the 'right thing' and worst of all - at the hands of his own family when he was just a teenager/child when one of the siblings in his care died.
The tortured is now the torturer.
The game plays out because his siblings now try to do the 'right thing' again - once again, trying to protect the family and their brother's name.
He turns the tables on them... to destruction.
I have a similarly destructive sibling... in her eyes, she is righteous and revengeful about things that happened in her own mind many many years ago. There wasn't any death or torture, just families being families.
I have a challenge ahead. How to navigate this with compassion and fairness. How to stay balanced when the attacks happen.
It comes as a shock really - I've never really been caught up in such a dynamic and I tend not the see the darker sides of people. Naive you think - perhaps. But now I have to accept that there is as much diversity in human nature as we can imagine. I watch things on TV and tend to think they are exceptions to the rule.
The challenge is to remember that no matter the outer behaviour, the light is still shining on the inside. There is a beautiful soul in there and it's the ego/pain of youth that is playing out. There is also some aspects of the 'Bloodline' playing out in our family - maintaining status quo; denial; keeping the peace;
I have to wonder if the pain can ever heal if no one says anything. I have tried, but it's not received well.. Who wants to rock the boat.
I have always been a pretty straight up person.. I don't really know how to be deceptive or revengeful with people. They aren't qualities I wish to employ and even if I've been driven to them - I don't find any pleasure or relief in playing them out and I've always stopped short of actually doing what I was angry about..
But now I see that for some people - they are driven to this - whether rightly or wrongly - they actually get a sense of relief and 'justice' from or feel the need to effect revenge or retribution.
But I suspect their impetus is really a cover up to relieve their own pain (misguided in a sense really)
When you hurt, you just do whatever it takes to make yourself feel better. And I wonder if they see what they are doing, or are they so intent on relieving their pain by inflicting the pain on others; do they actually get much relief or pleasure from the revenge. I'm sure in the short term - there is relief and maybe even a sense of success.
I guess we can all justify our behaviour in our mind - either as a protective mechanism - if I hurt them first - I've got the upper hand; or I want them to hurt as much as I do; or they need to feel how bad it is. .... just like they've done to others or to me;
Hate begets hate; revenge begets revenge; distrust begets distrust. No one really wins.